Caregiver of Cancer Patient Post Bone Marrow Transplant for NHL

New to site - I take care of my husband who was diagnosised with stage 3 Lymphomia a.k.a Angioimmunblastic T-Cell Lymphoma in March 2011. He is Post transplant.

I was wondering if any others ever get angry when the person your caring for is sicker at home, than when we get to the doctors office. Gosh I feel horrible even typing it, even thinking it, but I look like a dork,,, calling the office because he looks and is acting like death is near, then we get to the clinic and the pain that was a 10 on the pain scale is now maybe a 4, and that head-ache that he has had for 4 days is now completly gone. I dont know what to do. I knwo that my husband has this huge fear of pain-killers, he would pass them up if he could, but he worries that the doctors are going to think that he is a drug seeker.... my gosh it makes me sick... that a cancer patient feels that way... he has had a few employed caregivers that have made him feel like he was abusing the meds in the begining - for Pete's sake he is most liekly in the worst pain of his life....
well thanks for reading me vent at least.... i feel a bit better about it all know