At 57, only survivor, Mother disowned me

can i ask if there was other problems in your marriage too.

seems like you have alot on your plate. soemtimes it is easier to walk a way though. i have ,alot in my life ,jsut walked away for my sanity meant more to me.

you have a lot on your plate and you must decide wha tbattles your willing to fight. it is not weather it is right or wrong it is whether it is worth it over all.

i have seen senoirs manipulated, stole froma nd even abused wheni worked in home care. i go the jobs where they wante dto stop abuse from happenein gi was one of the few workers sent in that actauly was trusted. i had one lady she'd giv eyou something every day if you took it but i woul dnot and i had to explain to her it was thoughtful she wanted to give but these items where bought for her to use and enjoy not to give away. i was the only one who ever entered her =hom eand did not take. the johva witness took alot in there visits and we couldn't stop them. som eworkers helped them selfs and sales people always took adavantage of her. yes it is important we respect the elderly not take advantage.

i do not have a good relationship with my mom in many ways but i and my brother are signed on to help her make decisions she is 93. m one sister loves to make her pay for her meals when she goes ot places. like she makes my mom go to fancy places where 40 for two meals. i think it is wrong but we can't stop my sister for she is a taker and always will be. my mom insists on paying and then complains after. when i take her out i pay and then she gets mad at me . no winning with her. bt my concious is clear.

i had an anut like that to every one used her. they wold visit knowin gif they phoned ahead she would take them to a fancy resutrnat. i took her flowers and visited in her room. when she died her money was to be split amoungst all her nieces well one got it all. tha ti sfine i let it go. the niece who got it was amaried to a minister hmmmmm hope she enjoys the greed.

my sister got my dads farm over a million dollar farm . i tried to get what he gave me and she said no her boyfriend wanted it. fine i let her have it at least my consiouc is clear.

i long ago learnt what is meant to be given to me some day never to count on it nor expect it. soemtime si wished those with jus tenjoyed it in there life time.seen alot of hurt over money in deaths not alot of love .

i was told that it is rare that someone does not fight for money in the family but i looked at it this way my relationship is not good with my parents and as for their money it is theres to do as they please. yes i could haave benifited well from the help but i jsut don't have the fight in me. nor the money for th eleaches of lawyers.

i got money for an accident i was in and my x took it all and then replaced me witha new woman. yes it hurt but i am moving on.

i guess wha ti am saying is we have to pick our battles we wan tto fight and determine at wha tcost we are willing to endure the fight.

you said it broke up your marriage and damaged your relationship with your daughter.

i have jsut seen to much hurt in the name of money. i see woman getting beating because they want the money that he makes. i see chidlren devided and agueing ove rth eparents money. i see chidlren actaully harming parents demanding money.

i know it i shard to see someone take advantage of your parents but you need ot ask yourself this. is it the money or the game that bothers you most.

if is the game then pray for GOd to put astop to it. GOd to me works better when we are not motivated by money. this is a lesson God has taught me well. god may place themoney some where else you never now but he will stop things if we have the right motivation behind us. i do not know where you are being driven in motivation but i do hear it is huritng you all that has gone on. i would like to see you find peace and happiness here and be able to go forward .

husgd are

oh my gosh! there is so much emotional crap that goes on when youre caretaking for your parents!i took care of my father who had cancer and passed away in"08. i took my mother to live with me then. she has huntingtons. at that time she had very little dementia, it was that she was falling all the time that worried me.my marriage should have ended many years ago...sctually i shouldnt have married the guy in the first place. but it took its toll on it. and my kids who are now 13,15,18,23, 28, and 29 have been totally affected by it all. it was hard on the kids at home cuz grandma tried to stand up for me and get after them...but they would call her names and fight with her. theyve learned to be abusive emotionally just like their dad. they would get mad and swear and call me names. i have a major back injury also and so my older kids helped alot with my younger ones when i was in bed for 3 1/2 yrs.so... they have their issues with me already and learned to call me crazy like their dad did.well, when i asked for a divorce, my kids all freaked. i began seeing a man and they were p.o."d!they took my mom, who was getting dementia pretty good by this time. i dont even know how they changed poa, but they did.my 29 yr old and 17 yr. old (at the time) got poa from me.dont ask me how a minor could even become poa???they closed all her accounts, they wouldnt let me see her ...then finally they let me take her out for her birthday but i had to be chaperoned!!! theres more to it tho. my brother molested my 18 yr old when she was 9. he was in prison up till nov."08. i had to call him and tell him about my dads death and i have to keep him posted about mom. i have to bring her to see him and i had to deal with him about all the bills for the house. IT SUCKS!!!. my mom and dad were adomant that they keep a close relationship with him because they still loved their son, but it caused a big rift between them and my children. and i agreed...but understood my parents wishes too. well they wanted him to live in their house and wanted to pay his bills to get him back on his feet. we were spose to share the profit if he ever sold the house but i told him he could have it cuz i was sick of fighting. i kept trying to get mom to stop paying for everything. little by little she cut him off. but i was following my oparents wishes. i understood it was hard for him to get a job now as a felon and sex offender but once i finally convinced mom to totally cut off caretaking him,(it was a friday) he got a job with the paperroute the following monday!but by now the kids had called in social services and were saying we were taking all her money. i am being investigated because i was poa and paying his bills. well i finally got to take my mom for christmas last year ("08) and my daughter was totally worn out. my mother and her 4 yr old daughter were always fighting. so i was just about to say she could stay over and she practically begged me. well one night turned into three, and i ended up saying id keep her for the week to help out. well i took poa back and kept her. now my daughter doesnt want her back.but im still being investigated.well during all this my 1st husband(my 29 yr olds dad) had taken care of his neighbor and he was poa and everything got turned over to him when he died. anyways he had told me not to worry anymore about asking mom about everything. it was up to me and i could do with the money as i thought best.(and he was a big part of the whole take over thing once my kids did it, what a turd!) well i still ask my mom. shes worse now, but at the time was more with it. she was paying me 800./month ...but that included everything...food,gas,bills,helping her...everything...thats nothing!!! i use to make that in one week doing pca work(and that wasnt even a 24/7 job)... and i felt guilty about that even! i kept tract of everything i borrowed and gave back on a tablet.same with my brother if he ever borrowed anything and what was given back.(OH, but now they just said theres no proof i paid her back cuz it wasnt put into her account...i only recorded it! honestly! i think i was owing her about 200. at the time and i told her id have it on the first...she said dont worry about it. im totally taken care of. you provide anything and everything i want and need...just use the money for what ever you want. that was when i was wondering about the house. i knew my husbandf was gonna let the house go into forclosure once i asked for the divorce. she said lets save the house.i am applying for social security disability and so i dont bring much in right now. well my kids always heard from my husband that i was lazy and just wanted his money.( i dont get how they can be so blind either...i LEFTall the money!!! IT WASNT WORTH IT!!! hes about to be a multi millionaire!!! its like theyre wearing rose colored glasses!!)well anyways , now im being investigated. my brothers purrole officer told him not to get involved cuz the investigation is going to go on for about 2 years. im "so excited."- yuk.theres noone to help me with her in the family.he found ouyt he cant be alone with her even out to eat cuz shes a vulnerable adult too .so heres me doing everything and getting shit on for it. my mom and i have been having so much fun going out to eat and shopping. i got her a whole new wardrobe and pretty jewelery and shoes. i got her a foex mink coat and a new beautiful bedroom set.she never really had nice stuff. we go do stuff, im really enjoying being with her. we use to do everything together and talk everyday, but i lived in montana on off for about 20 years and then my dad retired and she had a hard time talking on the phone cuz she gets a really dry mouth from sojournes syndrome. so it feels so good to be together again so much.we even slept together for a while when we were in between moving. i said who ever thought wed be sleeping together at 49 and 73 yrs old and we laughed.i said id give anything to be able to cuddle up next to my daughter s in bed now :) and my desire was always to keep my family out of the nursinghomes. i worked in nursing for years and i knew how terrible they could be. they never hire enough help.... but, now im freaking out !and iv always been so close to my relatives. now i feel like most of them at least on my moms side are avoiding me. they all know theres an investigation going on too. i feel like my brother, my husband and kids have totally destroyed my reputation and family. i just want to throw in the towel some days. i sware if it werent for her being here depending on me so much i dont know if id be here. blah,blah,blah. i just really related to all the emotional turmoil youre going thru. i never thought it was going to be this bad when i took it on. i never could have imagined any of my family.ANYof them, acting the way they have. i feel so all alone .keep in touch . good luck.

Thank you both for posting. Dare you said some interesting things. It's not the game nor the money. It's now the principle. I am afraid this woman is going to take everything from my parents and leave them penniless. If that happens they will be thrown in a state run faucility in this state. I am really trying to protect them. As I said this is the second time, they are being scammed. In the State of CA they have "sweetheart" laws concerning this problem. What money they have left and that home has to go to their long-term care. They are 85 and 86, both in diapers are just about bedridden, one of them has full blown Alzihemiers, the other an amputee. We need laws like California to protect seniors, because they are lonely and vulnerable. I insisted a long time ago to my parents to get someone who is bonded and certified, of course they never listen. So now I'm "trying" to accept what is to be is to be. It is out of my control.

However, in the meantime, I feel like I'm having a break down. Two yrs. ago I had to take off from work because of a doctor's mistake, he let an infection get in my toe, then in September I took eight weeks off from work to help my parents with their surgeries, health etc.. now this on top of me...plus I know I'm lucky to have a job. But we lost a girl, she moved to another city. I now have twice as much work, with noextra pay, yes... Iknow I'm lucky to be working, the supervisor is petty and theother person I work with is a drama queen. If everything is not focused on her, she goes into a whirlwind with her mouth. In fact, Friday I accidently tested her that she was a bitch. I am not going to apolize, I have taken so much shit over the years w/her. I have even babysat her kid for free and overnite, treated her to breakfast more than once, and given her expensive tickets that I won to an amusement park. Thsi girl got pissed because Iwas about to tell my situation to a news reporter on the phone, I was only calling her back to set up an appointment, but anyhow, my lawyer said donot do it, you could lose your home.

People at work act like this last time I had to take FMLA, I was having a good time, needless to say, I was trying to get my parents financial busness in order, that's when I found out what was happening, my other was on oxygen 24/7 and my Dad would hollower at nite because he had his days and nites mixed up. So I really got no rest during that period of time.

Plus I asked for four days off from work in February and they will not give it to me, when I have the time on the books. I could go to the union but then they will probably treat me like "dirt". I feel like I need to go out on a mental disability or start looking for a different job somewhere else, however, itis now easy with all this crap going on in my life. It would be different is I had a sibling or someone to share this with. But my grown children do not want to be bothered.

Just keep me in your prays, I know some how some way this will all work out, I hope.

I'm going through some hard times, my Dad passed away earlier this year. Adult Protection Services says my mother is competent because she passed a 15 minute comprehension test, however, she is 85 in a wheelchair, amputee, in a diaper, being manipulated, etc. and I cannot even protect her. Because the law in this state says she is competent.Even though she put $1689 on her credit card to a car protection service even though she has not driven since 1994, forgets everything she says or does not remember.

So I am asking everyone here to pray for me that by early March things will turn around. I'm trying to keep the faith and stay positive.